To say my husband, Mat, is obsessed with surfing is an understatement. It’s his heart, his soul—his very existence revolves around it. When he’s exhausted, it recharges him. It gives him purpose, joy, and a connection to both friends and nature.

*Hand in hand with my husband and surf coach, 2021*

So naturally, I had to give it a try, right?

I’m lucky to have my own personal surf coach.

My sweet, patient husband stays by my side. He offers advice, builds my confidence, and even gives me the occasional push into waves when needed. Bless his heart.

Thanks to his dedication, I’ve improved.
Sort of.

A love-hate relationship has blossomed between me and surfing.

There are days I leave the water euphoric, pumped full of adrenaline, thinking, “I’m a surfer now! I was ripping out there!”

Then, there are days when the ocean humbles me. I’m smashed, knocked down, spun around, and spat out. I leave the water swearing off the sport, telling myself I’m better off with my feet planted firmly on solid ground.

But I always go back.

*Cheers to one of my besties, Caz, for catching me riding this one!* 🏄‍♀️

Surfing is an affair of contrasts. Love and hate. Joy and frustration. Beauty and pain. And isn’t that like life itself? Without the highs and lows, would it even be worth living?

On our year-long honeymoon adventure, we’ve spent four months in Indonesia and another two in the Philippines. Naturally, surfing has been the main event. And along the way, I’ve learned so much—not just about the sport, but about life itself.

Here’s what the waves have taught me:

Knowing When to Push and When to Hold

Most days, the waves are too big for me. I can’t contend with them. I don’t even want to try.

And isn’t that life?
Knowing when to charge ahead, to face its forces head-on—and when to step back and hold your ground. Knowing when to push yourself and when to respect your limits.

You Will Get Knocked Around

Sometimes, I push anyway.
And, oh, how the ocean reminds me of my place.

I get knocked down and spun around like I’m stuck in a blender.
When I finally reach the surface, gasping for air, another wave crashes over me, dragging me under again.

Life does that, too. It throws you around, hits hard, scares and overwhelms you.

It happens. But

You Can’t Fight The Flow

Sometimes you just have to go with it. There’s something humbling about being caught in a wave. A feeling of total surrender, as the ocean takes hold of your body and tosses you around like a ragdoll. In that moment, all your instincts scream to fight—to push, kick, and claw your way out. But here’s the truth: you’ll never beat the ocean. It’s bigger, stronger, relentless. The more you resist, the more exhausted you’ll become, sinking further into chaos.

So, what do you do?

You let go. You surrender to the flow. You stop fighting and let the wave own you for a moment. Your body goes limp, and instead of struggling, you let the current spin you. It’s terrifying at first—giving up control always is—but eventually, the spinning stops. The water calms, and you can swim to the surface. Breathe new life again.

Life works in much the same way. You’ll find yourself in situations where control is an illusion. There are moments of heartbreak, failure, or uncertainty that feel like they’ll pull you under. And just like in the ocean, fighting back with everything you’ve got often leaves you more drained and lost than before.

You can’t fight the flow.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is surrender to the moment. Trust that the chaos will pass, that the spin will slow, and you’ll find your footing again. This isn’t about giving up—it’s about letting go of the need to control what you can’t.

When you let go, something beautiful happens. You stop wasting energy on resistance and start moving with the current instead of against it. You allow life to take you where it needs to, even if it’s not where you planned. And in the process, you might just discover something you never expected—resilience, clarity, or a new path entirely.

Patience Is the Only Way

But letting go is only part of the lesson. The ocean doesn’t just teach surrender—it also teaches patience.

Sometimes the waves come slowly. I sit on my board, scanning the horizon for a bump in the water, waiting. And waiting.

Restlessness sets in. Boredom.

The ocean teaches you patience because you have no choice but to wait—for the right wave, for the right moment.

Patience is a skill. A practice. One I continue working on myself. I can thank the ocean for helping to teach me.

Let Go of Expectations. You Are Not Always in Control.

But sometimes, the waiting doesn’t pay off. There are sunny Saturday mornings when I wake up excited to surf. We load the boards into the car, coffee in hand, and drive to the beach, full of anticipation.

And…the ocean is flat. Lake-like.
Or windy. Unsurfable.

Disappointment immediately sets in. My plan for the day, ruined.

I’d built up expectations in my mind—“I’m surfing today!”—that didn’t align with reality.

Didn’t Buddha warn us about this? That expectations lead to disappointment?
Letting go of expectations allows you to accept things as they are, not as you wish them to be.

Final Thoughts

*Choosing to avoid the awkwardness of a “First Dance” at our wedding, we opted for a “First Surf” together instead.* 💖*April, 2024*

The ocean is a teacher, a mirror, and a guide. Surfing has shown me that life, like the waves, is unpredictable and often beyond our control. Some days, we’re riding high, and other days, we’re struggling just to stay afloat. But whether it’s about learning patience, letting go of expectations, or surrendering to the flow, the lessons are always there, waiting to be discovered.

So, the next time life knocks you down or keeps you waiting, remember: trust the process, embrace the uncertainty, and keep paddling.

Reflection Questions to Navigate Challenges and Growth

*Are there areas in your life where you’re fighting against the current instead of surrendering to the flow? What might happen if you let go of control?

*When was the last time you pushed yourself outside your comfort zone? What did you learn, even if you “wiped out”?

*How patient are you with the ebbs and flows of life? Can you wait for the right moment, or do you find yourself restless in the stillness?

*Are your expectations holding you back from fully embracing what’s in front of you? How might releasing them create space for acceptance and joy?

Let the Ocean Teach You: Life Lessons I Learned Through Surfing