Solo travel can feel daunting as hell. There’s a definite fear of loneliness involved. And to be honest, if you embark on solo travel, there will be times where you feel lonely. But within that loneliness, there’s beauty. If you can learn to sit with your own company, to not just tolerate but actually enjoy it—well, then you’ve cracked the code. Because at the end of the day, it’s just you and the world. And being comfortable with yourself? That’s everything.

BUT let’s be real: no one wants to be alone all the time. Humans are social creatures. Meeting people, sharing unforgettable experiences, learning from them, and gaining perspectives that challenge and expand our own. That’s how our minds—and our hearts—grow.

Can I be real with you, though?

I have a bit of social anxiety.

You too?

If so, I get it. It’s not always easy to put yourself out there. But after 14 years of living and traveling abroad, I’ve picked up some tried-and-true ways to make new friends. In fact, I’ve learned that some of the most unexpected behaviors can lead to the strongest, most genuine connections.

So, here’s the good stuff: a handful of surprisingly effective habits to build sincere, lasting relationships—whether you’re traveling solo or just navigating life at home.

1. Share Something You Dislike About Yourself

As Brené Brown so eloquently puts it, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection.”

While many people strive to appear flawless, embracing vulnerability can be a true superpower. When you share something you dislike about yourself, it sends a message: you're authentic, honest and relatable. It can create a shared laugh or a heartfelt connection. This openness invites others to lower their guard, fostering genuine, meaningful relationships.

*Cuddle puddle with my girls in Myanmar, 2016*

2. Repeat Their Words

Listening is rare, but making someone feel truly heard is a gift. A simple yet powerful technique is to repeat back key phrases or points they’ve shared. This reinforces understanding and builds an instant connection, making the other person feel valued.

3. Broach Uncomfortable Topics

I recently had dinner with a friend of a friend—one of those random connections made while traveling. As we walked up to meet each other he went in for a hug first thing, a sure sign of an instant connection. Within twenty minutes of sitting down, our conversation dove into the deep stuff: love, loss, his desire to start a family, and the challenges his girlfriend was facing with getting pregnant. He was raw, unfiltered, no bullshit—I loved it.

The courage to talk about taboo or sensitive topics sparks deeper connections. Life’s too short for surface-level bullshit. When you move beyond small talk and dare to discuss the things that really matter, you show authenticity and bravery. And while it might feel a little daring at first, it’s exactly this openness that earns respect and builds trust with others.

4. Be Fully Present

In a world where distractions dominate, undivided attention is priceless. Put away your phone, maintain eye contact, and engage wholeheartedly. This level of focus puts people at ease and leaves a lasting impression.

5. Make it About The Other Person

Want to stand out? Talk less about yourself and ask thoughtful questions about the other person. People love feeling interesting and appreciated. Genuine curiosity can quickly build rapport.

6. Express Brutal Honesty (With Care)

I’ve got a bit of a reputation among friends for being blunt. I won’t lie—there are times when I’m sure it makes people cringe. But more often than not, I hear how much they appreciate it. They know that with me, they’ll get the truth, straight up. No sugar-coating. And let’s face it, finding that kind of honesty these days can feel like a breath of fresh air.

That said, there’s a fine line between honesty and insensitivity. The key is to deliver with care. Embrace the truth—but wrap it in kindness. It’s not about being harsh; it’s about being real while showing respect for the other person’s feelings.

When done thoughtfully, authenticity earns trust and respect. People value those who are willing to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, because it shows you care enough to be real with them.

*Embracing our weird selves at an “anything but clothes party.”*

7. Show Your Weird Side

My husband is a goddamn weirdo, and I couldn’t love him more for it. It’s what he’s known for—being unapologetically, authentically him. Sure, sometimes his “don’t give a fuck” attitude about social norms makes me uncomfortable, but here’s the thing: people love it. They respond to his authenticity in the best way because, deep down, they wish they could be just as free. Just as real.

So here’s my advice: be weird. Own every part of yourself. The world needs more of that. Lean into your quirks and let them shine. Your weirdness not only makes you stand out, but it also inspires others to feel comfortable in their own skin. It’s contagious, in the best way.

*A moment of peace in the Sumatran jungle, Indonesia, 2025*

8. Set Clear Boundaries

Let’s get one thing straight: it’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s healthy. Setting boundaries isn’t just about keeping others in check—it’s about protecting your energy, your time, and your well-being. For me, setting boundaries often looks like carving out “me time” when I need it. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-care.

Personal boundaries can take many forms. Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying, “I need a quiet evening to recharge,” or “I can’t commit to this right now.” Other times, it’s standing firm in your values or being clear about what you’re comfortable with. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or even digital (yes, turning off your phone counts!), boundaries are a way of saying, “I respect myself enough to prioritize what I need.”

Having clear boundaries demonstrates confidence and self-respect. When you know where your limits lie—and communicate them—it sends a powerful message to others: you value yourself. And when people see you valuing yourself, they’re far more likely to respect you too.

By being upfront about your needs, you avoid resentment, burnout, and misunderstandings. It allows you to show up for others as your best self, not a drained version of you. So, don’t hesitate to draw that line in the sand.

10. Practice Gratitude

Never underestimate the power of a heartfelt “thank you.” Whether you’re thanking someone for a kind act, their time, or even just for sharing a moment with you, expressing genuine appreciation not only brightens their day but also deepens the connection you share. It shows that you’re paying attention, that you care, and that you’re not taking them—or the moment—for granted.

The beauty of gratitude is that it works both ways. Expressing it not only leaves a positive impression on others but also cultivates a sense of happiness and fulfillment within yourself. It’s a small act with a big ripple effect, reinforcing relationships and spreading positivity.

11. Embrace Unexpected Friendships

The world is filled with beautiful, fascinating people.

*Beach day with friends from USA, Jamaica, New Zealand, Australia, Poland. Egypt, Serbia, the BVI and more!*

In my 14 years of living and working abroad, I’ve been lucky enough to make friends from all walks of life. At 29, while teaching in Myanmar, my closest friend was a devout Buddhist, a southern gentleman in his 60s. During my time teaching in the Caribbean, my best friends were a super Catholic couple old enough to be my parents. Over the years, I’ve formed deep bonds with South Africans, Jamaicans, Indonesians, and Swiss—proving over and over again that there are incredible people everywhere.

Being open to unexpected friendships doesn’t just enrich your social circle; it transforms you. It forces you to expand your perspective and challenges your assumptions. It makes you more empathetic, open-minded, and intellectually curious.

Don’t let age, race, gender, or sexuality stop you from connecting with someone. When you remain open to those who seem different at first glance, you give yourself the chance to discover profound connections—and those connections often turn out to be the most rewarding.

Final Thoughts

Making friends—whether on the road or at home—is about standing out as your most genuine, authentic self. The connections that matter most often come from moments of vulnerability, curiosity, and the courage to be real. These habits—whether it’s embracing your quirks, setting boundaries, or sharing an honest truth—aren’t just tips for better relationships; they’re tools for self-discovery and growth.

So, as you navigate your next adventure—or even your daily life—ask yourself: which of these habits could I lean into? A small shift in how we approach people can lead to a world of difference in the relationships we form.

And don’t forget, connection is a two-way street. How have you made meaningful connections in unexpected ways? I’d love to hear your stories, so drop them in the comments. Let’s keep the conversation—and the connections—going.

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